Undergrad

living off cigarettes and magazines
time to yourself and the TV screen
telephone rings for the message machine
your friends talk but you’re not answering
now you got time to look at yourself
now you got time to criticize yourself
and I’ve seen the scars you put on your arms
that you’re making for with your boyish charm
and so you’ve read letters and you’ve followed fads
you’ve been mixed up and you’ve gotten mad
telephoned home to mom and dad
saying, “can you help me out I’m just an undergrad?”
but in the end you know it’s your own damn fault
you gave into what you knew was wrong
but that don’t stop you from what you do
you just blame it on the fact that you’re so confused

well but you’ve witnessed love and a homicide
didn’t tell anyone just kept it all inside
and it’s a secret that you never share
you just convince yourself that you don’t care
so find yourself on your family tree
try to understand your history
tell yourself, “it’s them not me
I have no control over my destiny”
so plug yourself into the neutral ground
there’s a vacancy at the lost and found
the neon light flashes, “stick around”
here we go again on the merry-go-round
here we go again on the merry-go-round
and the bartender screams, “it’s last call”
you kiss your friends and say you love them all
you say tomorrow you’ll give them a call
after you recover from the alcohol
and so you walk home talking to yourself
your ears ring above all the decibels
that shadow and echo through your head
as you pass through the loud and drunk coeds
so you get home and fall into your bed
try to stop the room from spinning
lose yourself until you fall asleep
forgetting to turn off the TV
and so for all the things you never do or say
you did something else that brought you here today
I guess it’s all to your dismay
but hell you say it doesn’t matter any way
hell you say it doesn’t matter anyway
hell you say it doesn’t matter anyway
fine I’ll just assume then that you’re ok. ok?
ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok . . .